


Ivory

by ViXen_LaDy36



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Attempted Murder, Blackmail, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Manipulation, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Implied/referenced molesting, M/M, Manipulation, Reader has a palace, Reader is technically on probation if you consider the circumstances, Reader's small obsession, Readers gets a persona, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-21
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2019-01-19 16:45:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 5,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12414039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViXen_LaDy36/pseuds/ViXen_LaDy36
Summary: Time to start anew. What happened...back then has completely torn your family apart. Has torn you apart. What happens in the past stays in the past, at least until it comes back to bite you in the ass. You are a victim of your past, your present, and what might be your future, all until you met...him. Vulgar, perverted, and kinda stupid, the one thing you could look forward to, the one that made you feel. You knew it was just a small fixation, an infatuation, but little did you know that would bloom into something. Especially once you find out he's the talk of Tokyo with his secret identity.Especially once you end up in all of it.You want to rip off your mask, but underneath one, is but only another, the core of your corruption. [ON HIATUS]





	1. Chapter I

**Author's Note:**

> Ryuji is best boy deal with it! I've always wanted to write a reader x ryuji thing.  
> Also, I'm sorry for just starting a story, writing a couple of chapters and just moving on to the nnext, but its been a small problem of mine. I just bring out all my inspiration on here!
> 
> But right now, I'm making a schedule for this. Updates every Friday and Monday.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As a young girl, you were taught that keeping your mouth shut was the better option. You could only keep quiet for so long before you snapped.

When you were young, you didn't speak much. You were shy, and couldn't talk to anyone you weren't comfortable with. So you just stood there, a neutral look on your face like a doll. It was quite unsettling for anyone who came to meet you. You didn't want to meet people anyways. If you said anything wrong, word would get back to your parents, and you would be  be punished. If you lied, you'd be punished, if you broke something, or weren't nice, or if you broke a rule, or tried to run away, punishment, punishment, punishment!

You were sick of it.

But alas, where would you go? Where could you go? 

You were trapped, in an endless cycle of submission and depression.

And it all got worse when you brother was born.

You weren't jealous about losing your parents' attention, in fact, that was what you were counting on. Finally, you might be free. But your dream was not at all what you planned.

Your brother was your mother's rage and your father's neglect, a product of their wishes for a boy, a new start from their past of girls.

Admittedly, you were one too.

But while your brother was showered in gifts and love, you suffered in silence. 

And so, a series of accidents plagued your brother's infancy. 

Accidentally hitting him, pushing him around, slapping him,  _watching_ him fall down the stairs.

You enjoyed it.  _Reveled_ in it.

And when he got older, all that fun came to a stop when he started talking. Started telling. Started  _snitching._

He repeated everything you said.

 _"Mommy! She said a bad word! "_ Punishment.

 _"Mommy! She won't share!"_ Punishment.

 _" Mommy! She hit me! "_ **Punishment.**

But whenever he did something to you, you were helpless.

You first realized you wanted to kill him at 9 years old. He had thrown stuff at you and cried. And cried. And cried. 

And an image popped into your head.

_Putting your hands around his neck and squeezing ever so gently, watching the life drain from his wide eyes, open in shock and lack of air, feeling his little body go limp in your arms...._

You laughed. No, not even laughed, cackled, wheezing as you doubled over, his cries only making you laugh harder.

The visions came more frequently as you got older. Every time someone made you mad, BAM! Their head got chopped off, they were tortured, humiliated! But, only in your head. It was a great pastime. 

Well, until you found a better one. A little boy who was known to you as  _Sakamoto-kun._

You went to the same primary school, and it was hard not to notice him due to his reputation for being loud and rambunctious. He made jokes, talked a lot, and was the life of the party. You had to admit, you had a small crush on him. But then he started to come to school with cuts and bruises, start speaking less and less, and the only outbursts he would have would be of anger. You knew he was being abused, because you had once gone through the same thing.

You wanted to help him.

You wanted to save him.

You wanted to hurt whoever hurt him.

But alas, you had no power. You couldn't do anything, so you just quietly prayed for him on the sidelines. But the sidelines could get tiring after a while. 

So one day, you mustered up your courage and decided to follow him during recess.

What you didn't expect to see was the strong, loud-mouthed boy you once idolized, break down in tears. Like dropping a glass cup, he was broken. You didn't know what to do. So you walked away. What's the point of fixing something if it's broken? 

A day later, Sakamoto didn't come to school. Or the day after that. The teacher explained that Sakamoto-kun had to move. You think you suffered your first heartbreak back then. You wondered if you had done something, maybe he would've stayed.

Your second heartbreak was when you accidentally slammed your brother's hand in the door. He cried, your parents came, and your mom beat you up while your dad just held your brother and watched. You can still remember her words.

_"What's wrong with you!? You could've killed him!!! You're wicked! Wicked! I won't hesitate to call the police!!"_

_Wicked._

_WIckEd._

_WICKED._

That hurt. That was the first time you had tried to kill yourself. A failed attempt.

That was the last straw. Like a rubber-band that's been stretched too far, you snapped.

If you wanted the weed to stop growing, you must cut the roots.

That was the first and last time had tried to kill your brother. 

Your mother made good on that promise to call the police.


	2. Chapter II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're in Tokyo now, a new alias, a new personality, and new friends. But how long can it stay that way?

  1. _Once upon a time, a princess had a chance to escape from her ivory tower, instead of waiting for her prince to save her. She denied the chance and instead went back to wait for him. Days, weeks, years passed and the princess still stayed in her ivory tower, waiting for her prince. She grew old, and one day she found out that her prince was dead, and that she had a chance to save him when she was offered a chance to save herself. Stricken with guilt and heartbreak, the princess withered and died, spending her whole life in her ivory tower._



_THE E-_

You quickly sat up, breaking into a cold sweat. You had another nightmare _,_ but at least you woke up before it could end. You caught your breath, clutching your chest, feeling your increased heartbeat start to slow a bit. Slowly getting out of bed, you shuffled your way to your kitchen, feeling a blast of cold when you walked in. You shivered. Walking over to your fridge, you opened it to not find that much food, but enough to make a decent meal. You just decided on some miso soup and ramen. After eating breakfast, you stared blankly at the television for about an hour before finally getting up to take a shower. Through it all, your dream kept playing in your head, over and over again. 

_a princess had the chance to escape from her ivory tower,_

Over,

_instead of waiting for her prince to save her._

and over,

_She denied the chance,_

and over again!

_and InSTEad WeNt BaCK tO wAit FoR HiM._

You grabbed your head, crouching down on your carpet. Your head throbbed, and you felt a burning pain your stomach. After a couple of minutes with nothing but the silence around you as company, the throbbing dulled, and the burning lessened. You slowly got up, and shuffled your feet back to your bedroom, picking your uniform off your dresser and slipping it on, dreading the moment you would have to step out of your apartment and face school. And face the  _world._ You grabbed your bag, put on your blazer and begrudgingly, opened the door.

Leaving was the easy part.

Putting on your mask though, was harder.

* * *

 

As you walked your usual way to school, your mind was blank, blank enough for you to forget to bring an umbrella, since it was raining. You tried to cover your head with your bag because of course you also forgot to wear your hoodie under your blazer. Note to self, check weather often. Walking was uneventful, since it left you alone with your thoughts. But only until..."Hey!"

"Slow down!"

"For god's sake, let us catch up!"

"We have umbrellas!" 

Why?

You haven't even gotten ready to face them yet! Maybe. You plastered a smirk on your face and turned to meet the excited (and bored) faces of your friends. "So soon?" You said, your hand on your hip. You lightly chuckled. "I'm starting to think you guys can't get enough of me."

One of them punched you in the arm. You laughed while rubbing your arm. That hurt. "Like I'd want more! Who was it that came crawling to our lunch table on their first day?" She said, a triumphant look on her features. 

"Yui! Be nice! Remember how shy you were in junior high?" Another one said. "Himari-chan!" Yui yelled, her face getting progressively redder. You secretly rolled your eyes. You could write a book on those two and their interactions. The one holding the umbrella over all of you moved closer as you all kept walking. She was the strong, silent type. What was her name?? Kiko? Niko?? Anyways, the one next to Kiko(maybe her name is Kiko), started walking ahead of you all. "Kanna! Where are going??" Himari yelled in her direction. She turned back, the look in her eyes totally unreadable by the glare in her glasses. 

"I'm going to get the last yakisoba pan," She said, a serious look overtaking her features. Then she ran inside. It was almost funny. Almost. Well, it was funny enough for the rest of your friends, so you had to laugh. 

"Seriously, Kanna is in love with yakisoba," Yui chuckled.

"Well it is delicious," Himari added.

"She's gonna raid the place," Sighed  ~~Kiko~~ Niko(it was Niko after all).

"Obviously, this is  _our_ Kanna after all," You chirped, shoving Yui and laughing when she yelped.

This was your friend group. Your cover. And for now, your social life.

For now. 

 


	3. Chapter III- Grey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is a blank canvas, constantly trying to find their color. While you? You are a blank slate. But you have your color. It's already been determined. You are not red, or blue, black, or white. You are grey.  
> Grey.  
> You cannot change your color. After all, you can't erase paint.  
> You can't erase color.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished this chapter because of this song, "Live to Win", by Paul Stanley.

Walking in, you tuned out the overlapping voices around you, and focused. Through all the seas of black and brown haired students, you spotted a head that didn't exactly blend in with the rest. Bright blond, loud and obnoxious, and totally unnatural.

_Sakamoto.._

Once you saw him, nothing but him flooded your thoughts. Almost nothing el-

 "Hey? Are you listening?"

 Shit.

 "W-what?"  _Don't stutter!!!_ Your mind was screaming at you to remember anything,  _anything_ they said. 

 A shove in your arm brought you back to your perpetual state of reality. You had to remind yourself to punch Yui later, that punch from earlier still hurt like hell. "I said,you ready for the volleyball rally in a couple weeks? I can't wait!" That last part she yelled, gathering the attention of a couple people around you. You lightly chuckled, swinging into step with the rest of your  _'friends'._ "Hey Yui, maybe if you beg, the volleyball team will let you play with them," Himari added with a smile. " _Beg?_ I think Yui has a bit too much pride to do that, doesn't she?" You asked, looking at Yui. It looked like Yui was about to say something, but as soon as Himari looked at her, she quieted down. "Now now Yui, be a bit humble, for me?" Himari cooed, voice sweet as honey. Seriously, Himari is a people person. Even you could fall to her charms sometimes. "I.." Yui trailed off. "I'll try to beg..." She whispered, surprising you. She yielded? 

Okay...okay.

Niko looked forward, face brightening up as she spotted someone. She mumbled a goodbye as she sped up, breaking into a jog as she went. "Hey guys, what's your favorite color?" Himari asked, looking at both you and Yui hopefully.  _Why ask that?_ You thought. Yui spoke up. "Well, I kinda like Blu-"

"Red. You like Red, right Yui?" Himari interrupted her, smiling like what she said wasn't weird. Yui looked down, twiddling her fingers. "Y-Yeah.." 

"What about you?" Himari looked at you. Actually, you didn't know. You didn't like Red, or Blue. Black, or White. It was all some sort of muddled...Grey.

"I don't know," You muttered. You didn't know. The rest of the walk was spent in silence.

Soon enough, you all went your separate ways, and headed to class. The moment you stepped in, your eyes scanned the room for Sakamoto, but you were surprised to see that he wasn't there. You couldn't just go around asking for him, and you couldn't look for him because you had class. So, you sat at your desk, and waited, hoping for the moment when you see him and his bright blonde hair enter the classroom. 

A couple of classes passed, and still you didn't see him anywhere. You were starting to get worried. You started to listen in on other conversations going on around you, to take off the edge. 

_'Have you seen the new transfer student?'_

_'I heard he's a delinquent'_

_'I heard he carries around a knife'_

_'Really? So dangerous!'_

_'I saw him talking to that Sakamoto-kun.'_

Your head shot up, breaking into a cold sweat. You looked around, seeing everyone gossiping about the new 'transfer student'. Since when was there a transfer student? And since when was he a delinquent? You thought they were talking about Sakamoto-kun! The last rumor you heard bounced around in your head.

'And since  _when_ was he talking to Sakamoto-kun?'

* * *

 

Your class droned on, and you fabricated a lie about going to the bathroom, practically jumping out of your seat, making your way to the entrance stealthily. You poked your head through the door, watching, and wondering just how you didn't get caught. 

The counselor spoke. He said something about receiving a call from the police.  _They skipped?_

"That damn cop snitched on us after all!" Ryuji spat. Hearing his voice was reassuring. At least he didn't do anything to get in trouble for. Well, besides skipping. 

"It's rare not to see you alone." After hearing that, you looked to the left of him, and saw the boy you've heard quite a lot about, and before he arrived too! His glasses glare made it hard to actually see his eyes, and his black fluffy hair just made it harder. You had a strange urge to run your hand through his hair. You couldn't exactly read him. At all. He raised his head, and you swore he was looking exactly at you. But he turned his head, and you let out a semi-quiet sigh of relief. Then Ryuji said something about a castle that obviously sounded like a lie. And then, you felt hot air on your neck, which made you flinch, hitting the person behind you. When you turned, it was like someone had dumped a bucket of cold water on you. 

"K-kamoshida?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry/not sorry for the cliffhanger.


	4. Chapter IIII - Yellow & Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yellow is fear. Blue is sadness.   
> Those colors invite themselves on your canvas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mostly Kamoshida being an asshole and giving you more reasons to hate him. So the usual.

"K-Kamoshida?" You whispered, mostly stuttered, as you slowly backed away from him, silently cursing yourself for being in this situation. "Y/N..." The way he said your name made you sick.

 "Aren't you supposed to be in class right now?" He said. You tried to look anywhere but him, but that only made you realize the how close he was to you. You wanted to run, but you were trapped under his gaze. You took this moment to calm yourself. You stared him straight in the eyes, something that past you would've probably fainted over. "I was going to the bathroom, thank you very much, now if you'll excuse me-" You tried to step away, but he blocked your path.

 "You're not going  _anywhere_."

 You froze. 

At moments like these, he would reveal his true colors. At moments like these, when he's had enough of defiance, he would... _'assert his authority '_ over you. And you weren't even in the volleyball team.

He just liked fucking with you.

 "What do you mean by that?" You whispered , trying to look for anywhere,  _anywhere_ to escape to. Your back hit the wall. You didn't even know you were backing up, but apparently, you were. Your attempts were futile though, since he just got even closer. 

 "Takamaki-chan's got modeling today, so guess who's stopping by my office after-school?" 

 You could practically feel your name coming out of his mouth.

At moments like these, you had a somewhat resentment towards Takamaki-san. If she wasn't there, you'd be chosen, if you weren't there, Suzui-san would be chosen. She gets it the worst since she's on the volleyball team. But why,  _why_ did Takamaki-san have to model? You were jerked out of your thoughts by a yank of your hair.

Oh right. Kamoshida.

 "Focus on _me._ " Another yank on your hair. You hissed in pain. " You should be lucky I even thought about paying attention to  _you._ " He spat out that last word like it was venom. "Be there after school." He whispered in your ear, his hot breath making you feel even more uncomfortable than before. He gave another yank of your hair, this one even harder than the last. You would've yelled, had it not been for his hand clamping over your mouth. "Or  _else._ " 

 He let you go, as you slumped down to the ground, eyes streaked with tears. You wanted to scream, but when you opened your mouth, not a sound came out. You could only imagine what he's do later. You had to force yourself to not think about that. You wanted to move but you couldn't get up. You only watched as his figure walked out the entrance.

Only a thought came to mind.

_"I hope you burn in hell. I'll make sure of that. "_

* * *

 

You didn't know how long you sat there, just long enough to hear footsteps. You looked over to see the guidance counselor avoiding eye contact with you as he walked away, Kamoshida giving you the side eye as he walked past you without a single word, and the delinquent with Ryu-

_Ryuji?_

He turned his head, wide eyes at you. Did you say that out loud? 


	5. Chapter V-Coral

He turned to you, shock and confusion evident on his features.

You stared back, trying so hard not to cry.

The silence was becoming unbearable. Thankfully, the black-haired boy spoke, his voice soft and low, not at all matching what you had imagined at first. 

 "Are you okay?"

 _Are you okay?_ The first thing you think, that you wanna say is  _'Do I look okay!?'_ But you know that it wouldn't be polite. As a child, you knew that keeping your mouth shut was the best option. You weren't about to stray from that path. 

You opened your mouth, but all that managed to come out was a choked sob. You were weak.

You sounded weak. You looked weak. You always will be weak.

 You took a deep breath. Crying felt terrible. You took another breath, muttering something about the nurse's office. You tried to pick yourself up, but apparently, you were too shocked to move your legs.  _'shocked? Or scared?'_ Your mind said to you. You so desperately wanted to curl up into a ball and die, but alas, your wish would not be granted today. So, you took a deeeep breath, and sighed. Very unladylike, but you didn't give two shits. "C-Can you help me to the nurse?" You managed to grit out, hating the fact that you sounded so pathetic! The black-haired boy quickly nodded, and elbowed Ryuji, who was staring at you as if you'd grown two heads. Together, they had both put one of your arms around their shoulders, supporting(or more or so carrying) you to the infirmary. You had  _"Accidentally"_ leaned your head towards Ryuji during the duration of the walk. Might as well have this little moment before school ends. 

* * *

 

You sat on one of the beds in the infirmary, hugging your knees to your chest as you stared blankly at your feet, your eyes occasionally looking up at either the black-haired boy or Ryuji. The silence was unbearable. Silence was hell. 

"What happened?" A break in the silence. You looked up at the black-haired boy. You sighed once more before speaking.

What was the point of saying anything? It's not like suddenly something'll happen  if you tell either one of them! But...it's nice to complain once in a while. And besides, if you didn't say something now, you just might cry again. 

 "It was...Kamoshida."

 "What!?"

 You looked at Ryuji, but only for a second or two.

You could hear so much spite, malice,  ** _Rage._**

"What did that bastard do!?" He yelled. You knew it wasn't directed at you, but you still shrunk back a little. 

"He pulled my hair,( _practically ripped it out)_ said I was 'lucky' to have his attention since Takamaki-san wasn't gonna be here after school, and told me to come to his office after school  _or else._ " By the end of your explanation, your hands were clenched into fists, and you were gritting your teeth. "Why don't you just report him?" The black-haired boy said. You shook your head. " You really must be new here. Kamoshit-head is untouchable. And if he found out I even  _dared_ to rebel against him, who knows what he would... _do to me?_ " You shuddered at the thought.

You saw them share a look with each other, as if they were confirming something.

"Look," You started, gaining their attention. "You shouldn't...try anything, okay? Especially you, new kid, don't you have a record? And maybe even more you Ryuji, we all know what happened with the track team. And...your leg."

You saw Ryuji visibly shudder, and the other guy looked to the side. 

"I'm sorry, but it's not like Kamoshida'll suddenly change his mind about it, or more so, change his heart."

You continued staring at your feet.

You heard them get up and leave, the black-haired one muttered a  _"take care"._

You knew it stung, but you would do what it took to protect them from that specific fate that you so resented. 

As a child, you knew it was better to keep your mouth shut. You weren't about to stray from that path. 

It's better for you, and it might be better for everyone else.

 

 


	6. Chapter VI- Change your color

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tough love.  
> You can't erase your color, but maybe you can save people from that same fate.

Before you had known it, you had fallen asleep on one of the beds in the infirmary, curled up into a ball and dreaming of blonde and black sheep walking into a slaughterhouse, aware of their impending doom, but still content.

You wondered if that meant anything.

You were woken from your seemingly perpetual state of unconsciousness by a certain Mishima Yuuki. You inwardly sighed, rolling your eyes. You knew Kamoshida was threatening Mishima,(as was everyone else on the volleyball team) but you couldn't help but resent him a little bit. He was Kamoshida's lapdog and occasional punching bag. The bearer of bad news. You couldn't help but shoot the messenger sometimes. 

When he saw your eyes open, he quickly pulled his hand away from its previous position on your shoulder. "M-Mr.Kamo-" Mishima stumbled over his words.

"Stop," You interjected, before he could make an even bigger fool out of himself. "Don't even say his name. I know what you're here for." You slowly got up, stretching a bit before you finally left the bed. Making your way to the door, you stopped right in front of the exit, thinking to leave Mishima with a few words of... _advice._

"Mishima?"

 He turned his head to you.

 "The fact that you let him do these things to you, to  _us,_ without putting up a fight is quite frankly pathetic. As I once read somewhere before,  _'be the change you want to see in the world'._ " With that, you took your leave, not even stopping to see his reaction.

 What you didn't see was him dropping to his knees, hands grabbing at his hair.

What you said, was not just harsh words of advice for him, but for yourself too.

_If only you had told yourself that all those years  ago..._


	7. Chapter VII-Black and Blue, Black and Blue- Black and-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiho....  
> Ann....
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> !..KaMOshIdA..!

You had trudged your feet all the way to the P.E faculty office, hoping,  _praying to god, buddha, jesus, any other divine power_ that Kamoshida wouldn't be there, or that you would walk in to see his mutilated corpse. 

But alas, life didn't work that way.  

As you got closer to the office, you heard... _sounds,_ coming from there. Like, thumping, and muffled screaming and possibly...crying? You knew what was happening in there. You wanted to burst in and play the hero, you wanted to walk in there and kick Kamoshida's ass, and save whoever was unfortunate enough to be on his radar. 

But you were weak. You couldn't fight him. 

You knew what he did to others.

This was as much a punishment for you as it was for everyone else.

Right when you were about to get lost in your thoughts, the door slammed open, someone running out. When they(she) turned to you, you finally recognized her. "Suzui-san?" You muttered, gaining her attention. You were finally able to assess her appearance. Her regular tied-up hair fell to her shoulders in tangled, messy waves, a very noticeable bruise above her eye, clothes askew, as if they were thrown on, revealing darkened marks and bruises peppering any and almost all visible skin, and her eyes were wet with tears. You two stared at each other, eyes locked in a secret staring contest.

You couldn't see much in her eyes, sadness, anger, pity, who knows? 

You weren't that good at reading people, but knew something had happened. And you knew someone would have to suffer for it, whether it be Shiho, Kamoshida, or even you, just for being a bystander. And after those few seconds of staring, she ran away. And you walked in, left to your fate.

* * *

 

The minute you took a step inside, the door behind shut, making you trip and fall onto your knees. From behind, a voice spoke, making you inwardly cringe. "Well, if _that's_ a view I haven't seen in a bit,"

You quickly sprung up, backing away.

_'pleasedon'ttouchmepleasedon'ttouchmepleasedon'ttouchmepleasedon'ttouchme-'_

 

"Come on." He said, his footsteps signaling he was near.

You knew this is what happened every time, but still couldn't help yourself from acting like this was the first time this had ever happened. 

"Come  **ON,** " he repeated, grabbing a hold of your wrist, quite roughly I may add. You took multiple deep breaths, until you started to become lightheaded. "Oh don't faint now, we've only just started..." He purred, making you involuntarily shiver. He pulled you closer, your backside resting against..his....

Your breathing became shallow, feeling your body temperature both rise and lower at the same time. 

He chuckled, his voice deepening, his mouth against the back of your neck. "I'm already quite tuckered out from my previous... _meeting,_ with Suzui-san, so you won't be needed for that today."

You didn't even know you had let out a sigh of relief until you felt it leave your lips.

" _But,_ that doesn't mean I still can't enjoy a show..." 

He sat down on his chair, immediately pulling you into his lap. You could feel the tears at the edges of your eyes, breathing to pool over. His hands began to roam your sides, feeling everything he could through your clothes. 

You just had to sit there and take it, because you were helpless.

And you know he could do worse.

So, so much worse.

So you closed your eyes, and freed yourself from the physical realm. But you wondered if you could ever really be free, free from the pain, from all blame, the hate, and especially free from all the terrible adults.

And your terrible brother.


	8. Chapter VIII- Black

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to die.
> 
> So why, why must you take my place?  
> I would gladly switch with you.
> 
> So why, why won't you wake up?
> 
> Not just for me, but for her too.  
> I can see your color, and it's fading...

You stumbled out of the PE faculty office, chastity thankfully intact.

_'I might not be able to say the same for Shiho, though...'_

You mentally cursed yourself. Why would you think like that? It was a close call anyways!

When the door behind you slammed shut, you stood in front of the door, practically glaring a hole through it. Then you put both of your middle fingers to good use and flipped him off. Not like he could see it though, but it was still a personal victory for you. You quickly adjusted your clothing, buttoning your blazer up to the very top button. You felt dirty. 

So  _goddamn dirty._

He hadn't gone past what you had thought been the end for you, but he was close. If you hadn't done what you had did, just maybe...

Maybe you might've experienced what Shiho did. You stood there and thought about it, if only for a second.

" _I'd rather die._ " You muttered to yourself.

As if the day couldn't get any worse, your phone rang. Why? It's not like anyone had your number. Your 'friends' don't even know you have a phone!

You sat down, leaning your head back against the wall, muttering to yourself.

" _I wish I could cry but can't force out tears._ "

" _I could feel bad, but I only feel anger._ " 

It's...all the adults faults. They're in power, they get corrupted, and then someone else has to suffer for it. You wish you could do something. Wish to fight back, to take back control of your life.  _Like you even had one._

You wish to live.

You wish to rebel.

You wish to  _atone._

As you left school that day, you felt a headache coming on.


	9. Chapter IX-Blue and Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are an angel who's fallen from grace,(quite literally I might add)  
> and your wings have been ripped off your back, forever chained to this earthly hell.  
> Fly you have once done,  
> and fly no more you will do.  
> Your color is gone, swept away by the wind, or burning in the tombs of hell.  
> I would have taken your place.  
> I would have burned in your place,  
> Had it meant that I'm no longer doomed to suffer in this mortal plane, longing for the inevitable release of death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T-that poem though...I just made that up, and damn is it good!  
> Sorry for the short chapter, I was little pressed for time!

Flopping onto your couch with a huff, you sighed, putting the palm of your hand onto your forehead, as if simply touching it was going to make the ever increasing pain go away. 

It didn't.

You rolled over, searching the couch cushions for the remote, as if staring mindlessly at a large screen was going to make your headache better.

It wasn't. 

You decided to close your eyes, if only for a second.

* * *

 

Your eyes snapped open when you noticed the light streaming in through the windows. It was...morning? You had slept...A whole  _day?_ You checked your house phone's voicemail. Blown up with messages! You didn't even want to check your mobile phone.

With an arm rested over your head, you decided to skip and stay at home. Changing into casual clothes, you pulled out your phone and searched for anything,  _anything_ to distract you from the suffocating silence. Being alone was fine on most days, but it soon enough got tiring. But it's not like there was any other options.

You searched through the web for any funny videos, something to lighten your mood a little.  You were about to click on a Rise Kugikawa video when your phone started ringing. You ran over. 

"Y/N-CHAN!!" a voice yelled.

"What!?" You yelled back. Screaming was not what you need right now. But you forgot about all that when the voice spoke again.

"It's Y-Yui! There's a problem!!"

" **what,** " you spat. This was getting annoying. You heard her whimper over the line. Yui never whimpered. What was actually going on? 

"T-The rooftop!! Shiho's going to-"

The line cut off. You felt your eyes widen as the phone fell out of your hands. You burst out the front door of your apartment, throwing all caution to the wind. You hoped she didn't jump. 

If so, you might never forgive yourself.

You might as well've taken her place instead.

As you arrived to school, to your shock and horror, you arrived just in time to see a stretcher take her unconscious body away. 


	11. I'm so sorry...

I'm sorry, but I think I'll take a short break on my stories here on archiveofourown here. It's been fun, and I definitely won't be leaving indefinitely, but I won't be back too soon, save for a few updates here and there. I just have things with school, life, and writer's block, and my computer being an asshole, that sometimes I forget to update. 

So for now, I think I'll go back to the simpler days, where I was one to  _read_ the stories here, not write them.

Won't be gone forever, but won't be here forever.

I'm pretty sure you won't miss me, but just in case,  here's a couple more websites with my stories on them, fanfiction and original alike.

I have stories on Wattpad, and my username is Lady_Vixen36

I also have stories on Fanfiction.net, and my username is also ViXenLaDy36

It'd be really nice to have you read my stories when I'm offline.

So...

goodbye for now!

When or if I come back, I might have a big story planned(or not), and nothing else! I will finish that story, and I'll move on to my others if I have the chance.   
I'm not gone forever,be sure of that!


End file.
